While this customer’s act or supreme stupidity didn’t occur today, he did show up in the store, and kindly reminded us of who he was by mentioning the event.

I was minding my own business when the manager announces over the radio that I need to check out a computer that a customer was looking to return. I approach the old coot, who appears to have lost more than just a few brain cells, and as soon as I am within earshot, he asks if I am the computer “guru”. I can’t stand that word. Guru. Who ever made computer guru trendy should be slapped.

He then proceeds to accuse us of selling him a “UK” version of the Compaq he bought. Firstly, this is impossible. His model isn’t available in the UK. I explain to him exactly how impossible his findings were, and he insists that he has a UK version.

Ok, fine. I guess we’ll have to play show and tell. I turn on his PC, and while I wait for the slow thing to boot up, I ask if he selected US English as his language when he set up the PC. He confirms that he did, and when I asked if he was sure, he looked at me like I was stupid.

Finally it boots up after about another minute of this guys insane babblings about British PCs. Yep. His dates are all backwards, and his money is in Pounds. Ok. Does that mean we have a British PC on our hands? No…

I looked at the system’s language and what do you know? He set it UK English. Like I asked. I explained to him as kindly as I could what happened, and he further insisted that he never would have made that mistake.

Alright, fine. I hop on HP’s website and I show him his model number is only available in the US. Still, he’s not convinced. Apparently he’s researched this, and determined that we sold him a UK model. Maybe he reads too deeply into the Tabloids…

I tried one last time to show him how and why everything was back in order, but he wouldn’t hear a word of it… He’s demanding we exhange his “UK” version for an American model. Whatever. Get out of my face. Here’s your new PC. Go home.

But was that the end of it? Nooo! He wants me to turn it on and SHOW him that it’s definitely an American model. Right. I unbox it, then fire it up. As I make a point of selecting the correct language, and ask him again if that’s where he went wrong, he’s still in lala land, insisting some nonsense about a UK model.

Whatever. I boxed it up, and out the door he went. I’m waiting for the day someone accuses me of selling them an Italian model…

Are people really that stupid? Are computers truly THAT baffling? Amazing…

So, this guy comes in to buy a printer… Seems like a simple enough job. He wants something that will print gorgeous photos for his wife. So after showing him our two top of the line HP PhotoSmart printers, and our Epson Artisian, he decides on the Epson.

Things are going well! It really looks like I have a good sale going! At my job we are supposed to sell “attachments” with certain things, like printers, or computers. These are higher profit items. Since we are selling the main items at cost or slightly above these attachments make the sale worth while. Sometimes we even sell things, below cost. How stupid is that? Yet some people still whine at me about prices. I love the clueless!

So anyways, he’s all lined up to get the printer, the USB cable, the ink and probably a little pack of photo paper. Right at the last moment, he grabs the printer, and as I remind him it’d be a good idea to pick up the USB cable, since he won’t be printing with out it, he informs me that he doesn’t have a computer. Ok, no biggie. Right? So next I remind him to get the ink for the printer, that way he can print photos from a camera, as the printer only comes with starter cartidges. (Starter cartridge = Next to empty.) He now informs me that he doesn’t have a camera… Ok… I can handle this! … Right.

So… I asked him what he intended to use it for. Maybe he doesn’t need such a pricey printer after all… He told me that it was a gift for his wife. I asked if he would be making copies of photos or anything that he’d need such an expensive photo printer for. Especially one he can’t seem to use, even if he did have a computer or camera as he neglected to purchase the required supplies to properly operate it.

He looked at me like I was a nutter, and walked up to the register. Oookaaay… I felt like asking him if he really needed a printer, but who knows. Maybe his wife just wanted to photo copy her posterior in brilliant Epson quality, and he just didn’t want to say.

Whatever. Not my problem. Win some you lose some. Hey, at least he got five minutes of fame here.